06/03/2008

"You Do The Time We'll Do The Math"

According to police in Honolulu in January, it was Ellis Cleveland who robbed four banks within a five-day span,so when police put this to ‘Brains’ Cleveland at the time of his arrest, he declared, “Four. I didn’t do four. I only robbed three banks. But it doesn’t matter because I’m not talking to you guys. I want a lawyer.” Police later said that Cleveland was not counting the attempted robbery on Dec. 31 of the Bank of Hawaii because, after three different tellers tried unsuccessfully to decipher his holdup note, Cleveland gave up and walked out empty-handed.smile_embaressed

The 'Politician's Car

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SOME THINGS YOU'LL NEVER NEED!

This is............ well, sick? dumb? disgusting? you decide.

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This from the company........."The Turd Twister is a complete kit for shaping your Turd into amazing designs... Order today, and we'll send you our Turd Twister Starter Kit. The Starter Kit ships with our 10 most popular Turd Twisters for only $9.95. That's 10 laugh-inspiring, dishwasher-safe Turd Twisters, and that's just the beginning! In addition, you'll get the Amazing Manual called "How to Twist Your Turds"..........-And as a bonus, by ordering online, we'll throw in a Safe-T-Floss™ Retraction Cord. Incredibly useful if your Turd Twister gets stuck somewhere it shouldn't be in the first place ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANGEL SNOT????

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This from the company.........."In our busy world it's easy to forget that miracles really do happen. With its lovely scent and comforting texture, Angel Snot is a heavenly reminder of the magic at work in our everyday lives. We say "Bless You" when someone sneezes because medieval folk believed a sneeze was the soul escaping the body. Clearly, there is a strong connection between nasal mucus and the miraculous power of heaven's messengers. This beautiful jasmine-scented pearlescent substance is both sacred and fun to play with. Squish it, bounce it, stretch it -- just don't wipe it on the back of the couch."

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SOMEONE IS TAKING THE PIZZ

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"Shopping, gaming,chat rooms, cyber-dating - the internet is such an addictive and time-consuming force, who's got time to go? With the Internet Urinal, you'll never have to leave your computer again. Imagine the freedom - destroy your opponents on network Quake without taking a break; drink as many cans of Jolt as you want and still be able to make that last important trade before the market closes."

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